Do you ever feel ‘back at square one’ on your relationship path? Something happened, you got rejected, or you realised you fell for yet another person that turned out to be totally wrong for you. And you’re left wondering why? I’ve been there…
Ahh..it can feel so frustrating! Especially when you’ve done a lot of work already, trying to get things right. But even if it’s your first time: it feels discouraging to be back where you started...again.
Think of it as being lost in a dark forest with dozens of narrow winding paths and no map: You have a hunch you need to move in a certain direction. (Did you read a signpost? Did someone tell you? You don’t remember.)
You stumble over roots, rocks and branches, you step in puddles and get caught in thorny bushes. (Why is this happening to me? Others don’t seem to get lost!)
Of course you walk on – you want to get to safety. There’s got to be a way out! (right?)
Then you see a light moving nearby ✨ So, of course, you follow it! It leads you down a lovely path – at least: it’s nice for a while... Until you find yourself caught in thorny bushes again, and then: you spot the SAME tree trunk you saw earlier (seriously?!?)
Ok. You know you gotta stop following stray lights (a.k.a. random persons you feel attracted to). You need to make a proper plan. You need to find your own path.
So you need to determine where you (yes, you, personally) want to go. And what you need to get there safe and sound. And ideally you want to do this consciously, without getting lost in generic advice, hyped theories and cultural pressure.
The best way I know to do this, is to look at your path from a little distance.
To find your bearings by getting a clear view of where you are now. Possibly map where you came from, including the influences on your route - helpful & unhelpful. So you’ll recognise pitfalls and loops – and: learn to avoid them!